The Truth About Skiing

The Bastardization of Ski Tuning

2009-12-22T22:00:00.002-05:00

You know what it costs for a stone grind and some edge work these days? Of course you do -- it's like $40! That's crazy! Because you're paying for the tuner's "skill", his time, and the overhead on that giant freakin Wintersteiger machine that costs more than a one-floor condo on a landfill near Vail (from personal experience). Since most serious skiers can tune skis (repair, edges, wax), we don't need to pay for that stuff. But we still need to get the grind once or twice a year at a minimum.

I'm working to change things. I've started www.skituning.org, and though it isn't launched yet, I'm looking for contributors to help me out. If you know about tuning and aren't a raging psychopath, send me an email. Being a raging psychopath wouldn't necessarily disqualify one from contributing, it's worth mentioning.

Happy turns until we meet again,

Boots that fit

2009-12-14T20:43:00.002-05:00

If I had to estimate (and I don't, but I will anyway), I would say that upwards of 80% of skiers are skiing with boots that don't fit right. I would say that of that 80%, nearly 99% are skiing with boots that are too big. The old rule of "drop down one shoe size" is incorrect. Boots are not shoes, and DO NOT fit or wear like shoes do. So what inspired today's rant? I was teaching instructor clinics all weekend, and can physically see people's feet sliding around in their boots. To me, this is like nails on a fricking chalk board into a megaphone.

Here's the problem: people want comfort above all else. This is understandable -- skiing shouldn't be uncomfortable (unless you want or need it to be). People just don't understand that the boots WILL be uncomfortable in the shop and for the first few days before they break in. This cannot be avoided. Even with custom foam liners, your foot is going to be in some pain before the boot breaks in.

Don't get stuck in the "go down one size" rule. Go down to the size that fits best. Don't buy boots without having the bootfitter shell fit you. That means removing the liner and putting your foot inside the shell. The liner will pack out and change shape, but the shell won't, so this is an important step. You won't want much more than .5 - .75" space behind your heel during the shell fit. If you can stick two fingers behind your heel, go down another shell size.

If there are pressure points or hot spots on your foot after a few days of skiing, go to a boot fitter who can grind and stretch the shell. They will know the appropriate measures to take. Make sure you also have a custom footbed or orthodic made. There is NO reason to ski without a footbed.

I wear a size US 13 shoe. My boots are size 26 (US 8). They have been ground and stretched in several spots so my feet fit better. I cannot get into or out of them when the shells are remotely cold and they leak like a saran wrap roof in a thunderstorm. This is the price one pays for racing shoes, but is not necessarily the deal with other boot types. See a good bootfitter, pay the premium, have comfortable feet, and BE EDUCATED on your boots!

The powder warhellride

2009-12-09T00:52:00.002-05:00

What is a warhellride? Anyone familiar with Wesley Willis will know the answer. Wesley was a homeless man with diagnosed paranoid schizophrenia who made money by playing demo tracks from his late-80's keyboard on a street corner. He would add ridiculous and often obscene lyrics to his music; if you don't believe me, look it up. Anyway, he believed demons were after him and would often take him on bouts of torment, which he called "warhellrides." Since hearing this twentieth century Mozart, my friends and I refer to various things as warhellrides.

I drove to Denver today, and it was a warhellride. The trip from Steamboat to Denver usually takes three hours on a slow day. Thanks to a whale-ton of snow falling the entire way, the drive took me SIX hours. Yes, that's SIX hours. Back home in Massachusetts, if I drive for six hours, I hit the magical kingdom of Canada.

The drive was also stressful. My windshield washer fluid decided to freeze in the line, so by the time I hit Denver, I was trying to drive out of a square inch clearing that was shrinking more and more with each mile. Then, the temperature at the airport hit negative twenty, effectively destroying any plans I had made to repair the washer fluid problem. My back muscles were so tense from the awful road conditions that even now, I am having trouble typing. The things I do for this freakin sport.

I did take a tour of some passes in the process of this drive. Though Loveland Pass was closed, I did come over Gore Pass, Muddy Pass, Rabbit Ears Pass, and Vail Pass. The state of Colorado is a beautiful place in the same way that a venus fly trap is a beautiful flower: it looks nice, but it can eat you if you aren't careful.

We leave Steamboat early Thursday morning and head back east in the Jeep. I'm planning to drive until I fear for my life, at which time I'll take a nap. I think I can get back to Massachusetts in two days flat...

Janka FTW

2009-12-07T21:14:00.003-05:00

Do you see this man? His name is Carlo Janka, he is Swiss, and he just swept Beaver Creek. He took the combined, then beat a very fired up Bode Miller in the Downhill, then schooled the pack in the GS. Janka has, as Ski Racing Magazine said earlier this week, put a target on his back for the rest of the season. Congratulations.

However, I feel the need now to share another story from my visit to Birds of Prey a few days ago. I took the public shuttle back to the base area and rode with a coach from team Norway. He was holding Svindal's flowers (Svindal had placed third in the DH) which gave him away. "They don't give you guys your own bus?" I asked. He sneered and cackled. "Bus? We can handle ourselves. Only the Austrians and the Swiss need a bus."

So there you have it. Norway is less than enthused about Janka and the Swiss. Who could blame them? The Swiss are cleaning up these days, even moreso than the Austrians...and y'all remember how much we detested those Austrians!

In unrelated news, Resi Stiegler is on the mend. Check out her blog. In really unrelated news, it is snowing here in Steamboat. Wax 'em up (and use the fluoro)!

The sudden hipness of ski racing

2009-12-07T13:08:00.003-05:00

Joe Maddon is the manager of the Tampa Bay Rays -- remember them? I mention him not for piloting the team to their first ever World Series run or for his controversial moves on the base paths. No, that would be terribly conventional of me. I mention him for his glasses. Has nobody told him they are unnecessarily hip? Seriously...if you're over the age of forty or so, you can get away with wearing run-of-the-mill glasses. Why he yanks out the thick-rimmed "look-how-cool-I-am" glasses doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. We viewers in TV land would take him a lot more seriously if he looked like the other old fart managers.

What do Joe Maddon and hip glasses have to do with skiing? Well, I am becoming more and more amazed at how "hip" we all are. I'm writing a blog, Ski Racing Development has a blog, generic-brand brightly colored goggles sell for almost $100 (I'm talking to you, Ted Ligety), you can read the Talon Crew's near-daily updates online, our major athletes are on Twitter, and Lange is actually darkening their "crazy blue" boots. What is going on here?!

I don't suppose it's a bad thing. After all, this sport could use some more exposure. I'm just saying don't expect to see me dig much further than this blog.

While I think of it, when did duct tape become cool? It reminds me of the DereLicte show in Zoolander. Homeless fashions might sound like another Jon Lajoie video, but they're growing quite popular in ski racing. One of the course maintenance guys at the Birds of Prey had a giant gorilla suit on. Let me repeat: one of the COURSE MAINTENANCE CREW was wearing a gorilla suit. A GORILLA SUIT. Hey, draw your own conclusions, but he was probably warmer than the rest of us.

So get with the times. Blog or tweet or whatever it is you do, but do it about skiing and ski racing. Just remember the movement started right here so I can eventually turn it into income.

The fountain pose

2009-12-06T16:32:00.003-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen, behold the fountain pose. Remember this drill?

Lindsey Vonn is unstoppable

2009-12-06T12:08:00.003-05:00

Can somebody explain to me what it must feel like to have to race against Lindsey Vonn? Is it even realistic that she will ever not win? She just went back-to-back at Lake Louise, even after knocking her knee into her face and biting her tongue on Friday. Let me paint that picture: she was bleeding the entire way down the course and still obliterated the field. I don't mean to pitch a comparison to Rambo here, but c'mon. She's won 24 World Cup races now, and seven of them have been at Lake Louise. The other amazing story is Alice McKennis, who - in only her third World Cup start - placed tenth!

I don't like to jump on the bandwagon. I never have, and I never will. This is a sport that tends to bruise shins from jumping on the bandwagon too fast. I was especially hesitant to climb on the Vonn bandwagon earlier in her career, but to be straightforward, she is one of the all-time greats beyond question, and she will continue to be for a long time. The FIS website already has her on their wall of greats for crying out loud!

The difference, in my humble opinion (which for the record, is worth about as much as a bucket full of yen in downtown Vancouver), between a good ski racer and a great ski racer is instinct. Lindsey has instinct, and it shows. Anyone who watches her race can see it. She has the same instinct as Hosp or McKinney or Reisch or any of the other greats. That's fun to watch. Quality ski racing is always fun to watch.

I had a coach once who made us ski blindfolded. We thought he was a crazy old coot who was trying to impart his booze-fueled death wish upon us all. I got a little older and started to understand that he was building instinct; now I wish he had made us ski blindfolded a little more. Then, who knows, I'd have 24 World Cup victories by now too.

My five month stay here in Steamboat Springs is drawing to a close. I leave here Thursday to head back to beautiful New England. You can say what you like about champagne powder, but I'll take a sheer sheet of blue ice over that powder crap any day. I'll keep y'all posted from the captain's seat of the Jeep as I rattle across the country with skis, boots, poles, bags, and all the other junk it takes to make this sport fun.

2009 Birds of Prey

2009-12-05T23:48:00.003-05:00

Howdy all. I'm finally back in Steamboat after a weekend down at Beaver Creek for the Birds of Prey World Cup. All in all, it was a successful weekend full of the usual sights and sounds common to us spectators: I was almost clotheslined by Bode Miller as he headed to the lift after his inspection, I spoke with one of Ski Pool Norway's coaches on the public transit bus as he held Svindal's bouquette, and the rioting Marco Sullivan fan club almost trampled me. Like I said, nothing out of the ordinary, aside from the course itself, which is never ordinary.

The course set put a steak-ton of emphasis on the Harrier Jump, which saw a few interesting turns-for-the-worst and a few even more interesting turns-for-the-better, especially from the mid to late skiers. The Golden Eagle was, as always, a major factor of provocative "coolness" -- the kind of thing we love as spectators and curse as racers. After all, spectators can't feel a bootboard being smacked against the bottom of their foot with the force of a Mack truck blasting through a water pipe. I couldn't feel it either today, so I cheered with the rest of the crowd when one or two racers rolled the window down more than they thought and became aerialists for a moment or two off the Golden Eagle.

I contemplated pulling Didier Cuche aside just before the race and asking to trade places for the day. He wasn't standing too far away, and I wanted to scream through a downhill like a basket of brussells sprouts wants to be dead-stocked. I decided against it, since he probably had some intention of actually trying to win. He did have such intentions, and managed to place second behind the latest Swiss wonderkid, Carlo Janka. Janka also won the super combi yesterday, so his double-dip is honestly impressive.

Bode's run was Bode's run. The crowd spent more time yelling and ghasping than actually focusing on the screen, and he cranked through the finish before we all knew what was going on. He was in first, but not for long, and would eventually fall to number four and disappear into the aspens into what I can only imagine is a giant motorhome with a full staff and a stocked refrigerator. I don't mention the stocked refrigerator in reference to his now famous "skiing hungover"-interview, but simply because today's race called for a cold one, and his run in particular.

"What do they have you doing during the race?" I asked one BC volunteer. He smiled and replied with zest, "We stay the hell out of the way!"

It was a successful weekend that got me thinking about another foray into racing. Maybe I'll start doing masters or find more beer leagues to enter. Thanks to Beaver Creek for the continued inspiration, the $25 tee shirts, the free AlkaSeltzer, and the most complex fricking parking scheme this side of Fenway Park.

Cheers.